I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
