isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
