Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
