You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
