You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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