at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
