he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
last night I used snow as a chaser
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
