Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
