i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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