I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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