I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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