why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
