i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I am one with the molecules
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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