Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
