Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
