Need sex. Gaining weight.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
