Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Buhtt sex?
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
