Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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