Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Randomize
