I cannot find my penis.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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