I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
