So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
