Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize