Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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