i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
