I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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