it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
