all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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