So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Randomize
