Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Mom said you looked used
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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