I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
