The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Can Purell be used as lube?
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
