If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I can't turn off my feet"
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Randomize
