You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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