Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
