Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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