you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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