am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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