are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
