On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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