Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Blood and glitter go together right?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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