i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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