literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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