Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
