dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
God I need to hump something, right now.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
