Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
