i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
