i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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