too bad you live with your parents still
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize