Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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