as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
