I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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