I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
