Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
