Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Randomize
