broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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