You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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