I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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