new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
