Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Randomize
