Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I am spending my child support on dildos
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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